Speaking to Sarah sometimes makes me want to go dig out my old journal that I wrote when I was 14.

Because...I KIND OF remember what it was like, but I kind of forget, too.

I think the forgetting is some kind of emotional prophylactic from the rigours of adolescence.

Or just my dodgy memory.

Hey everybody, check out what I'm making these days:




Also he/she has hands, as featured close to the face in this shot:




I should be done around the end of October and then you can get pictures from OUTSIDE my body.

Weird.

Steve and I are very excited.

Hello!

I am in Toronto!

I have 7 days left here.

When would be a good time to hang out with you?

I can't believe that TOMORROW I will be in TORONTO.

OK, technically in my body it will feel like early Sunday morning but it will still be Saturday when we touch down (at 10pm).

Hooo-doolally!

I may need Sunday to recover.

And then, Torontonians...and THEN?

Attention Maritimers: I'm very sorry but it looks like I won't be coming to Halifax after all.

My mom's had a flu/virus since about Christmas time and she's still feeling pretty rough so she's not up for visiting.

I'm funnelling my disappointment into fledgling plans for a full-on trip to Nova Scotia next summer.

I want lobster boils and corn boils.
I want sailing and whale watching.
I want lazing around in the Public Gardens and teetering around Peggy's Cove.
I want ridiculously fresh scallops and blueberry pie.
I want to go clam digging.
I want to hear fiddle music.

Are any of you up for that in, oh, 16 month's time?

You should hear the birds outside my window - they are having a raging debate about whether or not spring has come.

I'm starting to feel like maybe it has (one seagull has been particularly articulate and persuasive) - I'm starting to feel slightly more alive. My actual energy levels have yet to catch up to my mental energy levels but I'm sure that will come.

Also, I have things to look forward to. Not the least of which being a trip home in April - possibly a two-city extravaganza!

April 4th to April 18th, people: keep your dance cards clear.

I am back from Paris but I'm not allowed to post properly about it until I have my lesson planning done for Monday.

You may or may not get to know more.

We had snow! Proper snow! This was several days ago and I have been shut-up-no-way busy since then but I just thought I'd let you know.

Also we went to Chinese New Year in London which was mostly crowded and cold and not terribly exciting apart from the fireworks, which sounded like a thousand drums from the heavens.

Also I have bought a rowing machine which is waiting to be assembled.

Also it is time for BED.

My bike lock popped out of its bracket and onto the road yesterday. It was subsequently run over by no fewer than five cars before I had a chance to retrieve it.

And it is completely unscathed.

Go Kryptonite!

I think I'll reward it with some WD40.

Black Adidas shell toe trainers are pretty popular with the kids here (and when I say kids I mean anyone up to 30-somethings who still are mildly in touch with youth culture).

You probably know what these shoes look like, but just in case you don't, they look like this:



Now...I don't tend to care too much about fashion statements (except for the ridiculous pants-below-my-butt-defying-gravity-somehow look) but I have always found these shoes slightly ridiculous. More than slightly ridiculous, in fact, but I didn't know why. Especially when they are paired with white laces.

And today it hit me: they look like hockey skates. That toe makes them look like hockey skates.




It looks like people are wandering around college all day with skates on.

Hockey skates and fashion do not compute in my brain. But the realisation has made me like them a little bit more.

It just occurred to me that, after an extended period of not-going-out-dancing, I have been out dancing the past two weekends.

Compliments to last night's DJ for rather excellent mash-up involving Janis Joplin's Mercedez Benz.

Ages and ages ago I signed up for some strange internet thing using a different name...I can't remember why - some fit of paranoia I suppose. It was so long ago I can't even remember what it was for.

But now, every once in a while I still get SPAM with the fake name on it:

Jeanine! You too can earn while you sleep.

It's far more fun that the usual old spam.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to voice my disappointment with The Dice Man.

It was recommended to me by a couple of people and the concept sounded quite good but I'm finding it a bit too oversexed and juvenile. I'm not sure what I expected but I'm not really enjoying it very much and I'm not experiencing any revelations. I'm persevering with it in case it's one of those books that comes together spectacularly in the end, but I don't know.

Have you read it? What did you think of it?

In defiance of recent global and personal trends I am officially declaring 2009 the year of optimism and fulfilment.

Yes I've set some of the same old resolutions that I set every year: cycle to work more, write more, keep in better contact with people. And I'm not going to stop setting these resolutions because I think they are important things to strive towards even if my track record seems hopeless.

But I want to really focus this year on an overarching feeling of optimism and fulfilment.

I don't mean I intend to be sunny and productive ALL THE TIME but I'm going to put effort into looking at the positive side of things and I'm going to conscientiously work towards follow-through on projects and plans, rather than drifting along on the winds of fate and complaining about not having enough time or energy to do the things I want to do.

This is a funny resolution to set because it won't be immediately obvious whether or not I stick to it.

But if I do, by this time next year I'll be able to look back on a year's worth of journalling (both online and my personal journal) and see more hope, humour, love and fun reflected back. I should also be able to point out accomplishments that make me proud and happy.

I hope this makes me a more interesting and fun person to know.

So really a truly HAPPY new year to everyone.

I cheated a little and gave more than the first sentence where context was important (or mildly amusing.)

Jan 2008 - If it's good enough for lady kutenay, it's good enough for me:

Feb 2008 – I went searching through some archived posts trying to find a post where I'd used an LJ cut so that I could post a crazy-long meme without annoying the snot out of all my friends. And of course I just ended up reading post after post from four years ago. And it's left me with the impression that I was a heck of a lot more fun then.

Mar 2008 – Have you guys seen this yet? Lookin' Good for Jesus

Apr 2008 – We're pretty sure that Steve's lottery syndicate has won the national lottery! (This was an April Fool’s Day joke...I do not own a yacht.)

May 2008 – It was so hot out today that I had to go and buy a lighter shirt at lunchtime.

Jun 2008 – Geez...I don't check Livejournal for a couple of days and it EXPLODES WITH BIG NEWS.

Jul 2008 – I happened to be in London yesterday for training (whoo-hoo! Free train fare!) So Steve joined me at 4.30 or so and we headed down to the official Canada Day celebrations in Trafalgar Square.

Aug 2008 – I am on vacation. I am learning how to tap dance and play the trumpet. Apparently I am having the summer vacation I was meant to have when I was nine.

Sep 2008 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCKETDREAMS! I think the Swiss were planning on colliding some particles in your honour or sumfink.

Oct 2008 – I'm home sick from work.

Nov 2008 – I'm so tired from the long day I had today that I can't face preparing for tomorrow.

Dec 2008 – I am 30 today.

Notice how there is fun around the summer time and less fun when the school year starts? Must fix that. Yes indeedy.

Lately I've been feeling generally uninspired with work and likewise in my precious 'down' time.

I'm not sure if it's a result of the incubation of whatever bug has got me home sick from work today, or a build up of pressures at work or SAD or some combination of the above three.

I just feel drained of all energy and I'm finding it difficult to stay mentally positive...something that I usually don't struggle with too much.

I just don't feel myself these days.

Can I just say that I don't have enough geeky friends in this country?

Only one birthday party guest knew that I was supposed to be the borg.

Evidence of drunken mask action is on Facebook here:

http://www.facebook.com/friends/#/photo.php?pid=2198169&id=520006013

And now...a meme taken from ladykutenay:

Where I am now: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil and the rats. Working in lower management and teaching at the college and starting my literacy specialism course next month. Steve works from home programming (he's done that for the last 10 years).

1 year ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil. Working as a Transition Co-ordinator with minimal teaching at the college. Got my driver's license in the summer and had been driving to lots of schools for my job. Was studying for my numeracy specialism part-time.

2 years ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil. Working as a Transition Co-ordinator with minimal teaching at the college. Studying for my PGCE part-time.

3 years ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil. Working as a Transition Co-ordinator with minimal teaching at the college. Studying for my 7407 teaching qual part-time.

4 years ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil. Working as a receptionist at an advertising and design agency (and was doing some copy writing work). Had made second unsucessful application for teacher-training.

5 years ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and Basil. Working as a receptionist at an advertising and design agency. Had just made an application for teacher training that would turn out to be unsuccessful.

6 years ago: 3 bedroom house in Shelldale Crescent, Brighton, England with Steve (and occasionally Sarah) and pet mice. Had just quit a job as a receptionist at an IT recruitment agency because the boss was an unhinged bully. Steve and I were engaged to get married in February.

7 years ago: Room above a pub in Brighton - bare floor boards, leaky roof, goldfish and ficus tree. Working as a barmaid. Steve and I were pool team mates and wouldn't start dating until January. I had just celebrated my birthday with the Hove ladies rugby team and was looking forward to visiting Kathleen in Dublin for New Year's.

8 years ago: Staying with my sister and Andrew in two-bedroom apartment on Clinton Street in Toronto. On work-experience with Quirks and Quarks and loving it. Would be going back to North Street in Halifax where I was living with Emily, Joey, Andrea and Tim.

9 years ago: Living with Heather and Gailey in a two-bedrom apartment on the corner of...oh dear God...Harvard and Yale? Maybe? The corner of two streets named after ivy-league schools anyway. Getting up at 6am to do traffic shifts at CBC Radio Halifax, in my 3rd year at King's and working Campus Police part time.

10 years ago: Living with Jen, Andrea and AJ on Oxford Street - my first rented digs. We had Gailey and Jones by then. There were parties, Triscuits, a body-bag-esque bean-bag, daytime soaps and lots and lots of laughter.

I am 30 today.

It's been a super-busy day at work.

And I'm getting observed tomorrow.

So I have been working my birthday-bumped butt off.

So tired.

Awesome party last Saturday, though.

Will post pictures sometime before my 40th.

I'm having a masquerade birthday party for my 30th and I cannot decide what sort of mask I want to make for myself.

I'm thinking I want to make a plaster-cast mask of my face and then embellish it somehow, but no one theme or idea is emerging as a clear winner.

I'm also open to just buying a plain mask and suping it up somehow or turning something outrageous into a mask.

Any ideas or suggestions?

Ideas that would allow for a fun costume to go with the mask are especially welcome!

I'm so tired from the long day I had today that I can't face preparing for tomorrow. So I'm going to bed at 9pm and getting up at 5am and going into work and doing lesson planning.

How has this happened coming off a week-long break?

This is not how I had it planned.

(Please note: Universe...I am not actually complaining...just scratching my head and sticking my lip out a little.)

I'm home sick from work.

I don't know WHAT I've got. Some sort of virus. I just feel weak and dizzy a lot of the time with intermittent raging headaches and short bouts of nausea that seem to come on whether I eat or not.

I seem to need to sleep 95% of the time.

And I have a strange mask of a rash of tiny bright red spots around my eyes and on my eyelids. It's as though I'm some sort of poxed avenger.

It seemed like not a good thing to have when in contact with dozens of young people and coworkers who have already had everything under the sun this term.

So I stayed home. And slept.

In other news, these past few weeks I have:

- been to see Fatboy Slim in an outdoor concert on Madeira drive. It sucked. (And that's not just the sicky grumpiness talking). The crowd was generally drunk and coked up and nasty. The set was uninspiring and choppy and I was on my own for 50 minutes while Steve battled his way through the crowd to the loos.

+ been to the Secret Policeman's ball in the Albert Hall. That was great. The acts varied in quality but Eddie Izzard had a substantial set near the end that was just so great. I am having trouble with my descriptive writing at the moment. He was funny. I laughed until I cried. It was all good.

That is all for now